Two Pink Lines

 

I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to make this post. I wasn’t entirely sure how to make this post. I’m still having a hard time accepting that its real.

Yesterday morning on April 20, 2013 at around 9:20am I peed on a stick. The results are as follows:

 

 

I was in complete and utter shock. At some point during this whole process you begin to expect the BFN’s, and you never ever ever ever expect to see a BFP. EVER.

The first words out of my mouth were, “Holy motherf%$!#*^ s&#t!” Classy. I know. Then at approximately 9:24am I texted the pic to my husband, since he was at work and there was no way I could sit on this information by myself all friggin’ day. That convo went a little like this:

Me: Guess what?

Hubs: What

Me: {sends pic}

Hubs: 🙂 🙂 🙂

It was fun. And cute. And I hated to do it in a text but there was no way I could be the only one that knew.

We had our small moment of celebration yesterday, then the realness of everything kicked in and we got serious. Hubby admitted he was very nervous and he hoped that nothing bad happened this time. I share his feelings deeply, possibly times 100. Although I’m paranoid, I’m not getting too worked up about anything until my Beta comes back on Tuesday. I should start the blood thinners {because of my clotting disorder that they think caused my last m/c} shortly after the Beta comes back. Until then, I’ve doubled up on my baby aspirin everyday. Probably doesn’t make a difference, but it makes me feel better.

Here’s what I expect to happen in the weeks to come. As far as protocol goes, if my beta comes back positive then we do a repeat of it and my progesterone within the week. At that point if the numbers are good, we will schedule an ultrasound for approximately 7 weeks gestation, which would be at about a month from now, depending on how my RE’s office counts I guess. Any of this could change, depending on my specific circumstances, I suppose.

Until then, I’m pretty sure my husband wants to wrap me in bubble wrap. He’s already mentioned that he doesn’t want me going to a concert that I have tickets to in June. And he wants to cancel this coming weekend’s plans we had to go to a nearby piano bar for his birthday. “Too loud and too much jostling around,” he says.  Haha…should be a fun several months! 😉

Now all I’m going to concentrate on is my beta on Tuesday and hoping the numbers are great 🙂 I’m having a hard time deciding what to do about work. The girls have been asking me for the last week if I am or if I’m not. All I keep saying is we won’t know for a while longer. I guess I could lie and say I’m not. But, due to the nature of my job, I have to tell my supervisor and my nursing supervisor in surgery. I had planned all along to tell only the girls in my department first, and the entire clinic when we were in the “safe zone” {does that really exist for people like us??}. But the question is, how soon should I tell my department?? And I’m not sure if my supervisor is obligated to tell the doctors that I am or not. It’s going to be hard to remember who is supposed to know and who isn’t. For right now I’m sitting on it until I can decide what to do.

Alright then. I’m gonna continue to be cautiously happy and keep trying to convince myself that this is actually real. The beta will help make things seem more solid. Until then…

 

{ps: to my dear friend M, who is the only person from my real life who knows about this blog, remember this is top secret information! 😉 Love you!}