“Don’t drink the water!”

I absolutely hate that saying. Hate. It. Give me the water and I’d gladly drink it all day! Not that I necessarily want to be pregnant right now, but as an infertile I have a certain aversion to this particular little saying.

And today at work I heard it. Again.

While I was trying to conceive,  4 girls at work got pregnant and had babies.  One of those girls had TWO babies before I was pregnant with my take home baby. Two other girls were pregnant at the same time as me, one had her baby 3 days after me and the other 10 weeks after.

Yes,  there are a lot of women of child bearing age at work. And many of them have been pregnant in the last 3 years. Hence the popular saying around the office, “Don’t drink the water!” (Har har har…)

What pisses me off so much is I am looped into this little joke. I’m counted as one of the many pregnant people who apparently drank the water. And I am always quick to let these people know that “the water didn’t work for me.”

No, it took a little more than that to get this momma pregnant. It took a year’s worth of clomid. A tubal pregnancy that took my unborn baby and my fallopian tube. A miscarriage that devastated my very heart and soul. It took letrozole when the clomid failed. Months of driving 2 hours away to see a specialist. Needles in my belly. Uncontrollable mood swings that caused me to dislike myself. It took a doctor and a catheter to impregnate me, instead of a beautiful night with my husband. It took more needles in my belly every day of my pregnancy to keep my baby alive. It took money. Ohmygod so much money. And tears. More tears than any one person should ever cry in a lifetime.

So don’t use me as a reason someone shouldn’t drink the water.

I hate to be Debbie Downer and ruin everyone’s joke, but I take it personally.  People are too quick to forget how much I struggled.  They think that just because I have my baby now that I’ve forgotten too. But my struggle is still a part of me. A big part of who I am now and what kind of mother I am and plan to be. I think it will always be a part of me in that way.

So yeah. Another girl is pregnant at work. And she wasn’t even trying. As a matter of fact she had just made an appointment to get her tubes tied because she was done having kids. Must’ve been that water she drank!

Funny thing though, aside from the don’t drink the water jokes, I wasn’t upset when she told me. For the first time in I don’t know how long I wasn’t sad to hear that someone else was pregnant. I was a little jealous,  because I very much miss being pregnant.  But I wasn’t sad. And that’s a big deal.

So here I go again, watching someone else walk around pregnant for 9 long months.  But this time I get to go home to my baby’s sweet smiling face everyday 🙂

 

{On a related note….I had ANOTHER period! That’s one in March and one in April!  Crazy! Since I decided against birth control I told hubby we may need to be a little more careful lol!}

 

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5 thoughts on ““Don’t drink the water!”

    • I agree. In a way all that seems like a lifetime ago, but at the same time all the emotions, pain, heartache is all still so fresh. I definitely want to try again someday. But I don’t plan on putting myself through what I did the first time around. I’m giving myself a time limit…when we decide to TTC again, 6 months. That’s it. If it happens, it happens. If not, I have my perfect baby boy and that’ll be enough 🙂

  1. I totally agree. If drinking “the water” is all it took for me, I would have at least 2 babies by now. Today my ultrasound tech at my fertility clinic joked that I could have one of her kids that’s currently such a handful. Not too hilarious to a woman who is willing to be poked and prodded and swallow pill after pill and stand upside down on her head if necessary to have a healthy baby of her own…

    • Umm, seriously?! I might have punched that ultrasound lady in the face! You would think working at a fertility clinic you would be a little more careful about what you say to women struggling to get pregnant!

  2. They were saying that around the place i work also. When i got pregnant the first time with the miscarriage another girl who was 17 was pregnant. When i got pregnant the second time two other girls were pregnant with me. I was the first to have mine out of the three of us,both of them weren’t even trying.

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