Funny thing…

So my last post I talked about getting back on birth control,  or actually NOT getting back on birth control, and how whatevers meant to be will be.

Well, I still feel that way, but funny thing…

I was on Facebook tonight,  and a girl that was pregnant the same time as me and had her baby a month before me announced that she was already pregnant again. Unplanned. Surprise!

I just hope this isn’t some sort of sign! HA!

Birth Control

The thought of having to worry about birth control is actually hilarious to me. Also, the thought of getting pregnant again {right now} frightens me. A lot.

That being said…

We have opted to NOT go on birth control. No pill. No mini pill. No nuva ring. Nothing.

What, are we crazy?! Maybe. Do I want to get pregnant again while caring for a newborn?  Absolutely not. But I do have my reasons.

I’ve never liked being on the pill. And I liked it even less when I found out I’d pretty much been taking it for nothing all those years.  I’m not good at remembering to take my medications. I did so well while TTC and while pregnant because it wasn’t about me then. Now that Mason is here I can barely remember my prenatal vitamin every day.

Another reason is the Factor V and clotting issue. Dr. L said if I changed my mind he’d put me on a progesterone only pill for this very reason. Still not interested.

And finally,  I just need a break. For 3 years I pumped myself full of medications and hormones and hormones and more hormones. It made me crazy and an absolute wreck. I don’t even remember what it was like to feel “normal”. I know you IF mommas/future mommas get this.

So I decided that’s it. I’m done putting this stuff into my body everyday. At least for a little while. I guess I just need a cleanse of some sort. I want to get back to ME. Or at least some version of the person I’m pretty sure I used to be. The emotional roller coaster of dealing with infertility and loss changed me, yes, but the constant flow of medications I was on changed me in a way I couldn’t control. It affected the way I dealt with things. The way I treated the people in my life. So yeah, I’m done with the hormones for now. And that means birth control.

I talked it over with the hubby. I don’t think we have anything to worry about as far as accidently getting pregnant. After all, it took us 3 years to get our take home baby with LOTS of medical intervention. BUT… there’s always that chance. You hear the stories. We’ve heard it a million times while TTC. My brother’s best friend’s cousin had trouble getting pregnant with their first, then they magically got pregnant with their second a week after they had the baby!  Or something to that extent. So I told Hubs that if he really wanted me to go back on the pill, I would. I don’t want to, and he said he was ok with that. But I was clear that he had to be ok with the very slim chance that we could “accidently” get pregnant in the next year before we’re ready. Surprisingly, he said he was ok with taking that chance.

His sentiments were kind of the same as mine. We don’t want another baby right now. It was be hard. Having just one is hard! But, if by some crazy chance we got pregnant on our own with my polycystic ovaries and my one lonely fallopian tube, who are we to be upset about that?? It would be a miracle, and we would treat it as such. I would be one crazy momma a year from now, but we would be grateful for the miracle. 😉

So that’s that. We are not going back on birth control. And we are not actively trying to get pregnant. A year from now we plan to sit down and decide if we want to try for a second baby. Until then, whatever happens, happens!

Quick Update

I haven’t updated in a bit, but that’s because there hasn’t been much to update on.

I’m doing another month of birth control right now in hopes that it will “quiet my ovaries.”  This should be my left ovary month to ovulate anyway, so the chances of having a BFP would’ve been slim to none.  So I figured, why not?  The hubs and I have decided to go forward with a consult for IVF at the first of the year {hopefully the first part of January}, so we’re pretty much just biding our time right now anyway.  After this month of BC I’m going to do another round of Letrozole.  If it works, fantastic, if it doesn’t, then the IVF consult will be right around the corner.

Right now we are deciding on which fertility clinic we want to go to.  There is one 2 hours east of us and one 2 hours west of us.  My insurance covers one and my hubby’s insurance covers the other.  I know people who have/are going to both.

I hope there’s some miracle and I won’t even have to do IVF, but if we do I’m just ready to get on with it!  The financial aspect of it is the only part that scares me a little.  Ok, a lot.

I’ll update more when there’s something to update on.  Now I’m off to clean the house and dance to Pandora. 🙂  Happy Fall!