What The Hell Is Going On In There?

Ugh.

Haven’t posted in a while, so here’s a little update.  I went in on Friday the 28th for my bloodwork.  Nurse D called me on Monday and said my progesterone level was 0.7.  0.7!  That doesn’t just mean I didn’t ovulate, that means Hell no I didn’t ovulate.  Geez.  We discussed it and decided that since my next cycle I should {in theory} ovulate on my left ovary anyway, it would be a good time to do another month of birth control to “quiet” everything down and help me respond to the Letrozole better on the following cycle.  So I am to call her if I start my period, which, if I didn’t ovulate I probably won’t, and if I haven’t started by CD35 I’m to test and then call her to get another script for my favorite med: Provera.  Nurse D said to just wait it out because the numbers don’t necessarily mean anything, especially in my case since my body always seems to do the exact opposite of what the numbers say.  And why shouldn’t this time be any different?

So Saturday {October 6th} rolls around and I wake up to AF giving me a big fat Good Morning!  Um, what?  I didn’t ovulate, so therefore AF shouldn’t be showing her snotty little face, right?  And if she is showing up, does that mean I actually did ovulate?  And if I did ovulate, WHY didn’t all that sexy time me and the hubs had work???  Basically what I want to know is…What the Hell is going on inside my body?!

I just called Nurse D and am anxiously awaiting her phone call back so I can tell her about AF’s little surprise visit.  The hubs and I have talked a little, and since Dr. L has mentioned IVF the last two times I’ve seen him, we will probably be going to an RE after the first of the year if we haven’t gotten pregnant by then.  This month marks 2 years that we’ve been trying.  It’s time.  The first of the year seems like as good a time as any.  That will allow us to get past the holiday season and have both of our vacation times start over at work.  Since the ony two fertility clinics close to us are both around 2 hours away, we’ll need the time to take off work.

In other news, its October, and October is my favorite month of the year.  So let’s be happy about that.  🙂

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Sexy Time. Again.

Gone were the days of scheduled intercourse, coming home after a long day from work, looking at my husband with a complete lack of interest, and thinking, “Let’s just get this over with now so we don’t have to worry about it after dinner.”

Sigh.

Or so I thought.  Here’s your warning: This post may include some TMI moments {Do those even exist when you’re TTC???}.

The past 3 cycles have been fantastic.  Before I started the Letrozole we did a month of BC.  Then my next cycle we did the IUI.  The next cycle was a bust because I was ovulating on the wrong ovary.  So for the last 3 months, my hubby and I have been able to actually enjoy sex with each other whenever we WANT, not just when its on the calendar!  Its been amazing.  And I thought it would continue that way, since we’ve decided to keep trying with the IUI approach.

WRONG.

I went in for my Day 12 ultrasound on Monday {the 17th}.  There were 3 follies on my RIGHT ovary {Hooray!} but they were a little small. Two 10’s and one 12.  Dr. L actually called them pitiful.  Thanks, Dr. L {I still love you}.  I talked to him about my weird cycles the last two months, with the light spotting for 2-3 days before I actually started any heavy duty bleeding, and he said from now on he wanted me to start counting Day 1 on my first day of heavy bleeding.  In light of this news, he said that I could actually only be on Day 10 rather than Day 12, so he wanted to see me back Wednesday for another ultrasound to see how my little follies were growing.

Cut to Wednesday {the 19th}  {Side Bar: This is one year to the day that we heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time.  Four days later I miscarried. This week has been a rough one.}  I go in for another ultrasound.  At this point I’m on Day 14, or Day 12, depending on if you counted the first two days of spotting I had as cycle days. Oy.  My little follies grew 1mm.  Still pitiful.  Dr. L said he was expecting them to grow at least 2-3mm.  He said it was very possible that they would mature and I would still ovulate, but at that point he didn’t see enough to warrant spending the money on an IUI.  Plus, as it was looking, if I DID ovulate, it was looking to happen on the weekend and while he would come in to do it even though the office is closed, the lab that does the sperm washing is closed on the weekend {Since Dr. L is just my OBGYN and I’m not going to a fertility clinic *yet*, which would obviously be open 7 days a week, this is the luck of the draw}.

So you know what that means… me and the hubs get to have Sexy Time this weekend.  And lots of it.  Sigh.  There’s just something about having to do it that makes me not wanna do it.  I know you know what I mean.

On a brighter note, I haven’t been nearly as crazy or close to a mental breakdown the last few weeks.  I finally called Dr. L’s office and told them I was losing it, and he prescribed me a low dose of Zoloft.  I was pretty hesitant at first.  I’ve never taken anything like that before and I was afraid it would make me a zombie.  But so far its done the trick without compromising my personality, and I only have 3 refills so its only a temporary thing.  I did some research on it and its prescribed to a lot of women who have severe PMS symptoms {which….HELLO, hormones!}.  The girls at work have even mentioned that they’ve noticed a difference in me.

Ok. So back to the follies.  So that makes today either Day 16 or Day 14.  Depending on how you’re counting it.  I haven’t done any OPK’s or temp charting, partly because I didn’t think I’d need to and partly because they just make me crazy.  But I did notice I had a little CM today {gross, I know}.  So hopefully my little follies are growing and all the Sexy Time we’re about to have isn’t all for nothing!

Just curious… If you’ve done IUI or monitored by ultrasound, what size are your follies usually on day 12 or 14?  Just so I have something to compare to.  I’m really hoping maybe I just flubbed up my days and we’ll ovulate just fine.  But as usual, I’m not getting my hopes up.  I’ll know for sure next week if we ovulated when I go in for my bloodwork.

Until then, have a good weekend!  You know what I’ll be doing! {Ha!}