Baby Nugget – 32 Weeks

Look at this, guys!  An update that is semi on time!  It’s a miracle!

I had my 32 week checkup on Tuesday and everything is fantastic.  We did our final ultrasound, but couldn’t get a very good look, even with the 4D because of his position and the placenta and the cord were in the way.  He’s already head down and low and ready to go!  He weighs 4lbs 3oz right now, which blows my mind!  He’s in the 50th percentile for growth and right on track for where he should be.  Dr. L told me everything is looking great.  Everything is NORMAL.  To which I replied with a smile, “I’ve never been normal!”  And he said, “I know, kid, it’s great!”

He’s asked at my last 2 appointments how long I plan on working.  I’ve told him I guess as long as I can.  Right now we are both healthy and not in any danger.  But it is getting more and more difficult to stand on my feet for 8 hours a day, so he told me when I was ready he could write me a note recommending half days for the duration of my pregnancy.  That might be coming in the next few weeks.

Here’s one the halfway decent ultrasound shots we got of his sweet little face.  Our ultrasound tech, Jill, says he looks like me!  He does have my chubby cheeks, full lips, and maybe even my nose!  Daddy might be out of luck on this one! 😉

32 Weeks!

32 Weeks!

 

Oh, and I took another bump pic today!  Here’s my 32 week 3 days bump!

 

20131109_160758-1

Ok, on with my usual update…

 

Baby is the size of a squash!  At week 32, your baby weighs in at about 2.5
to 3.8 pounds and measures about 15.2 to 16.7 inches.  
{Although, the app on
my phone says that baby averages 19 inches and 4.5 pounds…so obviously there
is some discrepancy at this point.}  He’s likely to be in the head-down
position now, getting ready for his descent — the journey down the birth canal.
And not a minute too soon, because at this point, he’s probably feeling even
more cramped inside Mommy.

How far along? 32 weeks (and 3 days)

Total weight gain: According to my last Dr’s appt +12lbs.  And 4lbs of that is baby! Dr. L is still very happy with my weight gain.

Maternity clothes? My scrubs still fit so I’m still wearing those to work. I did buy some maternity leggings that are WAY comfy and get worn with tunics or long shirts. (That’s what I’m wearing in the bump pic above!)

Stretch marks?  No new ones.

Sleep:  Getting rough at night. Turning from one side to the other takes a LOT of effort and I do it several times a night.

Best moment this week: I had a couple of baby showers this week.  I plan to do a post on those.  For the most part they were FANTASTIC.  But I had a few disappointments, which may just be my sensitive pregnancy feelings getting hurt too easily.  More on that later.  (and to my friend, M, who threw my Lil’ Pumpkin shower…no worries, YOU and your shower you threw were NOT the disappointments I’m talking about! Love you!)

Miss Anything? Sleeping on my stomach.

Movement:  All the time!

Food cravings:   Christmas Tree Cakes.  Cosmic Brownies.  My aunt’s homemade taco pizza that I’ve been begging her to cook for me!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Morning sickness is back. Nothing in particular triggers it. If I take a Pepcid before I go to bed that seems to help some.

Gender prediction: Sweet baby boy!

Labor Signs:  I’ve been having Braxton Hicks the last couple weeks.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, bloat/gas, VERY frequent urination. Occasional round ligament pain. Sciatic nerve pain. Heartburn and indigestion. Shortness of breath. Morning sickness. Dizziness/lightheadedness. Braxton Hicks.

Belly Button in or out?  In, but it looks weird.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Pretty happy! And tired.  And cranky a lot.

Looking forward to:  Umm…Thanksgiving!

Next appointment:  November 19th, I’ll be 34 weeks!

Baby Nugget – Weeks 18 & 19!

Here’s a quick update of my 18th and 19th weeks of pregnancy with this little nugget! {Still no name yet…Lord help us!}

Week 18:

Baby is the size of a sweet potato!  He is about 5.6 inches long and
about 6.7 ounces now, and he keeps growing rapidly.  (That’s why you are
probably feeling so hungry!)  Can you believe he is yawning, hiccupping,
sucking, and swallowing?  And he’s twisting, rolling, punching, and kicking
too!

Week 19:

Baby is the size of a mango!  During week 19, your baby is about 6 inches
long and weighs in at about 8.5 ounces.  He’s developing a protective coating
over his skin called vernix caseosa.  It’s greasy and white and will protect his
delicate skin from the amniotic fluid.

How far along? 19 weeks

Total weight gain: -3lbs. My OB appointment Tuesday was at 1:30, and I went straight from lunch with my work girls (we had Mexican!). Dr. L told me that I had gained 2lbs since my last visit, and he was fine with that. But I was sure to tell him that I had just eaten a huge bean burrito and chips and salsa right before they weighed me, so he said, “Oh, well you only gained 1 pound then!” Haha 😉

Maternity clothes? I just ordered some jeans from Old Navy!

Stretch marks?  No new ones. Ha!

Sleep:  Still restless.

Best moment this week: Hearing baby boy’s heartbeat at my appointment this week. That never gets old.

Miss Anything? Sleeping through the night. Sweetbay white chocolate mochas.

Movement:  Yes!!! And a lot of it! It’s amazing! My little boy is a mover!

Food cravings:  Milk. Chocolate milk. Ice cream.

Anything making you queasy or sick: We had Applebee’s for lunch the other day at work. It didn’t sit so well. It’s on the “no-go” list now.

Gender prediction: Sweet baby boy!

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, sore nipples this week, mild nausea, bloat/gas, super sense of smell. Occasional round ligament pain. Sciatic nerve pain! Heartburn and indigestion! Leg cramps at night.

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I have a pretty chunky belly, so I imagine it’ll stay.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Pretty happy!

Looking forward to:  My next ultrasound.

Next appointment:  August 27th – Anatomy Scan!

Baby Nugget – 16 Weeks!

I can’t even tell you how crazy it is to me that I’m 16 weeks pregnant.  That’s 4 months.  That’s nuts, right?!

 

Baby is the size of an avocado! {And now I want Mexican food!}  Baby’s about 4.6 inches long and weighs about 3.5 ounces, and he’s big enough that your doctor may be able to hear his heartbeat.  Now he’s growing hair, lashes, and eyebrows.  He’s also listening to your voice, thanks to tiny bones forming in his ears.

How far along? 16 weeks

Total weight gain: I haven’t even weighed this week!

Maternity clothes? Not Yet. I haven’t gained any weight, really.  And I was overweight to begin with when I got pregnant, and I carry all my weight in my belly area… So I’m not sure when the “bump” is going to start getting obvious…it might be a while.  I don’t wear a lot of “normal” clothes anyway since I wear scrubs to work. I may buy some maternity jeans here soon and see how it goes…they might round me out a little! Ha!

Stretch marks?  No new ones. Ha!

Sleep:  Restless at night.  Up at the very least once every night to pee. I usually catch up on sleep on the weekends…last Friday night I slept for 12 and a half hours!

Best moment this week:  Nothing big this week I guess.

Miss Anything? Sleeping through the night.

Movement:  Nope.  How can I have something the size of an avocado moving around inside of me and NOT feel it?!

Food cravings: Greasy cheeseburgers! Yum! And Chinese food!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Certain smells and drainage in my throat.

Gender prediction: So, I had a dream the other night that we went in for our gender ultrasound and it was a GIRL! But…Rick from Pawn Stars {ever watch that show?} was the one giving me my ultrasound, so I’m not exactly sure how reliable it was! Hahaha!  We will find out soon enough!

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, sore nipples this week, mild nausea, bloat/gas, super sense of smell. Occasional round ligament pain. Sciatic nerve pain! Heartburn and indigestion!

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I have a pretty chunky belly, so I imagine it’ll stay.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Pretty happy!

Looking forward to:  Gender scan on Tuesday!!!!! Eek!

Next appointment:  July 23rd, 17 week gender scan! Is Baby Nugget a girl or boy?!

 

Baby Nugget – 14 & 15 Weeks!

I’ve been a bad blogger lately!  I’ve let myself get so behind, so I’m catching up today.  I’m going to combine my 14 and 15 week updates and hopefully I can keep up from here on out!

Week 14 – Baby
is the size of a lemon!  At week 14, your baby is 3.4 inches and 1.5 ounces;
he’s almost doubled in weight since last week and keeps on growing.  Right now,
baby is probably sucking his thumb and wiggling his toes!  And he’s growing
lanugo, a thin, peach-fuzz-like hair, all over his body — it will help him keep
warm.
Week 15 – Baby is the size of a {big} navel orange!  The average fetus at week 15
weighs 2.5 ounces and measures 4 inches — and her proportions are becoming even
more normal, since her legs now out measure her arms.  Baby’s making lots of
progress:  her joints and limbs can all move now, and she might even be
hiccuping in there!

How far along? 15 weeks! I am AMAZED.

Total weight gain:  -3lbs last week, -3.5lbs this week.

Maternity clothes? Nope. Although I’m thinking of starting to look. I wear scrubs everyday, so they’re pretty loose and comfy still.

Stretch marks?  No new ones. Ha!

Sleep:  Please?! I’m so restless at night.

Best moment this week:  Hearing Baby Nugget’s heartbeat 🙂

Miss Anything? Sleeping through the night.

Movement:  Not for a long while I imagine.

Food cravings: Ribs.  And Hubby brought some home last night!  Yum!

Anything making you queasy or sick: I have a lot of drainage at night right now, and when I wake up in the morning a lot of mucous has drained down into my throat.  It gags me and causes me to throw up in the mornings 😦

Gender prediction: Somedays I feel girl, other days I feel boy! Who knows!

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, sore boobs, vomiting, bloat, super sense of smell. Occasional round ligament pain. Sciatic nerve pain!

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I have a pretty chunky belly, so I imagine it’ll stay.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Pretty happy!

Looking forward to:  Gender scan in two weeks!!!! Eek!

Next appointment:  July 23rd, 17 week gender scan! Is Baby Nugget a girl or boy?!

First OB Appointment, Paranoia, & Baby Nugget – 11 Weeks!

Whew.  A lot to catch up on.  Let’s get started.

My first OB appointment with Dr. L was on Tuesday.  It was good, if not uneventful compared to my trips to the RE.  Unfortunately its a pretty busy office and you can usually expect a long wait, whereas at the RE’s we were usually always called back within 5 minutes, and definitely no longer than 10.  Hubby doesn’t do well waiting for long periods of time.  He’s almost like a small child in that way.  It’s a little annoying, and by the end of our appointment I was threatening that he was never coming with me again.

The first thing we did was pay our deposit and set up our payment schedule for the next five months.  Holy moly, Baby Nugget’s payments are more than my car payment!  Now, all this is based on our due date, which is now January 1st.  I’ve already met my deductible for the year.  But if we deliver on January 1st or later, I have to pay next year’s deductible.  So basically if we can have this baby on December 31st, we’ll save $1500.  I mean, who knows what will happen between now and then…we may go early, we may go late.

I was finally called back and they weighed me, took my blood pressure, made me pee in a cup, and then made me undress completely.  Apparently I’m a little overdue for my pap, so they decided I could go ahead and do that also since I was there.  Yay.  I just LOVE surprise pap smears!  They also gave us a goodie bag full of magazines, diapers, formula, breast milk containers, and a trimester by trimester planner.

When Dr. L came in he was pretty excited.  He almost couldn’t believe that I had gotten pregnant so fast.  We talked a little bit about what meds and things Dr. P had me on (I feel like Follistim was the missing piece for me), and I told him that we were lucky after our 1st IUI.  He gave me a due date of January 1st based on my last period and IUI date, which could change depending on how Baby Nugget is measuring down the road.  After my pap, he told me not to freak out but my cervix may bleed just a little and that it was completely normal.  To which I replied, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

After that he got out the Doppler so we could check Baby Nugget’s heart beat.  After looking for a while, I was beginning to get nervous.  It’s hard to find on the Doppler sometimes when you’re so early, and if the baby is laying a certain way also.  I carry most of my weight in my belly, so I wondered if the extra belly fat was making it hard to find as well, although Dr. L would never say so.  Regardless, we couldn’t find it with the Doppler and I was starting to get very nervous.  Dr. L was sure everything was fine, but said he wasn’t about to send me out of there for a month without me know that the baby was ok.  So we were told to sit tight and wait for the ultrasound tech to come get us.

Heather showed up to get us.  She’s done plenty of ultrasounds on me in the past, and was excited to hear that things were going so well for us.  She took us to a room that I’ve never been to with a pretty old school ultrasound machine setup.  She told me to go ahead and get on the bed.  I looked around.  There was nowhere for me to undress like the regular ultrasound rooms they have.  She just stood there waiting for me, and hubby was sitting in the corner.   There was a stack of sheets on a table to cover your bottom half with so I guessed she just wanted me to go ahead.  I mean, she’s seen me naked plenty when she was probing me in the other ultrasound room.   So I kick off my shoes and have my pants halfway down to my knees before she says, “Oh, no, we’re just going to do it on your belly.”   Uhh…oh, ok.  Let me just put my pants back on.   A little embarrassing?  Yes.  Comical?  Of course.  I apologized for the strip tease and we all laughed as I jumped on the table, fully clothed.

She explained that this was the old, OLD ultrasound machine that they used when they are backed up.  Tuesday’s are pregnant lady days, so they were pretty busy.  We were just checking for the heartbeat, so this machine would do.  The picture was super fuzzy, especially since my bladder wasn’t full like its supposed to be for abdominal ultrasounds.   But we could make out a fuzzy little Nugget wiggling around on the screen.   As usual, Nugget was moving those arms and legs like crazy, which could have made it hard to find on the Doppler as well.   We couldn’t hear the heartbeat on this machine, but we could see it.  She told me it was 146bpm.  I’m not sure if she had to count that or if the ghetto machine told her that.  I  was a tiny bit concerned that it was 178 the week before and now it was 146.  She told me it was completely normal.  The heartbeat starts out a little low, then peaks around weeks 8-10, getting up to sometimes the 180’s, then begins to come down a little bit.  Anything between 120 and 160 is normal, and she assured me it was a perfectly healthy heartbeat.  Of course, I’m always paranoid, so…

Dr. L said he would see me back in a month.  Like any other normal pregnant woman.  It feels kinda nice to be on a normal schedule, but at the same time my weekly checkups helped keep me sane.  How can I go 4 weeks without seeing Nugget or hearing it’s heartbeat?  At one point the worry had subsided a little.  Now it’s back full force.

An example of my paranoia:

Dr. L asked me if the morning sickness was going away, to which a replied a very enthusiastic NO.  I told him Dr. P was a little stingy with the Zofran, so Dr. L gave me another script for some, saying that it was perfectly safe to take and to take it whenever I needed it.  So I’ve been a little more generous with the Zofran this week.  And it really does make me feel better.  Much better.  But when I’m not feeling sick, its makes me a little nervous.  Does that mean something is wrong with Baby Nugget?  As long as I’m sick I know Baby Nugget is kicking around in there.  Stupid logic, I know.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when the morning {all day} sickness finally goes away.

I’ve thought about buying a fetal Doppler to have at home.  But then I’m afraid that I won’t be able to find the heartbeat and then I’ll be an even bigger basketcase than I already am.  I’ve read that they are pretty tricky to use and a lot of women don’t have much luck with them.  Does anyone have one/ever used one?  What kind or brand do you recommend?

Ok, let’s get on with this Nugget update.  It’s a little late this week, but better late than never!

 

Baby is the size of a lime!  Your fetus is about 1.6 inches long, and she’s got about a 1:1 head-to-body ratio.  She now weighs in at about .25 ounces.  By week 11, her tooth buds, hair follicles, and nail beds are forming.  Her skin is see-through, but she’s on her way to looking more like a baby.  Her fingers and toes aren’t webbed any more, and she’s moving fluidly and gracefully in there, even through you can’t feel it.

How far along? 11 weeks

Total weight gain:  -5lbs as of earlier this week.  They may have changed since I pigged out on Olive Garden last night. Thank you, Zofran!

Maternity clothes? Nope.

Stretch marks?  No new ones. Ha!

Sleep:  I haven’t been sleeping well this week.  But I want to!

Best moment this week:  First OB appointment and being treated like a regular pregnant woman.

Miss Anything? Nah.

Movement:  Not for a long while I imagine.

Food cravings: I’d been craving Olive Garden salad and breadsticks and finally got it last night!

Anything making you queasy or sick: If I don’t eat for a while or let myself get too hungry.  Smells seems to a big trigger this week.  A stinky patient at work made me hurl Thursday.

Gender prediction: No strong feelings one way or the other. As long as its healthy, I’m happy!

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, sore boobs, morning sickness/afternoon sickness/evening sickness….basically ALL DAY SICKNESS, bloat, and most things smell TERRIBLE.

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I have a pretty chunky belly, so I imagine it’ll stay.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  I am happy and queasy!

Looking forward to:  Being able to announce our big news.  Next week may be the week for the girls at work.

Next appointment:  July 9th.  Should be almost 15 weeks!

Baby Nugget – 10 Weeks

TEN WEEKS!!!!!  Oh. Em. Gee.

A lot of things have happened this week.  Some good, some bad.  Some that I should classify as good, but…let’s just say I’m having a hard time.  We won’t be covering all that in this post.  Expect  a nice juicy post this weekend, though!

Monday was my 3rd {and final!} ultrasound with the RE.  Dr. P got Mr. Wand out and started poking around and immediately let us know how happy he was with how Baby Nugget is progressing.  He pointed out the spinal cord, which was the main development he was looking for this week. {My baby has a spinal cord! How cool is that?!}  Then we heard that beautiful heartbeat again….178bpm this time!  Strong as ever!  Then Dr. P said, “Ok, now let’s take some fun pictures,” and began poking and prodding again.  What happened next was the absolute most AMAZING thing that I have ever seen.  EVER.  It moved.  My baby moved.  It’s little stubby arms and legs were flailing around like crazy, and we could see it, clear as day, on the screen.  There are just no words.  But there were tears.  Pretty awesome day.

After that Dr. P informed that he was done with me.  There’s no more for him to do, so he asked, “Who’s going to deliver the baby?”  Um…what?  It took me a moment to answer.  Because while I know the answer, I didn’t fully comprehend the question.  I’ve never thought about delivering a baby.  I’ve never thought about anything past today.  All I’ve ever focused on is keeping this baby alive, today.  I haven’t even let myself dream of the day that I actually deliver the baby.  But as of now, its looks like we are well on our way to a January delivery.  And while I’m always a little paranoid, I’m absolutely elated.

So I gave Dr. P Dr. L’s name, and he smiled and complimented our choice.  He told us congratulations again and told me to make sure we keep them all updated.  Then Hubby thanked the doc, and said, “We may be back for another one.”  After signed my release papers so they could send my records to Dr. L, we walked out of the RE’s office and made the 2 hour drive for the last time.  It’s a little bittersweet.

So I called to make my first OB appointment, which is set for Tuesday the 11th.  The girl at the front desk was an idiot {and obviously new} and took forever to pull up my name in the computer, let alone make the stupid appointment.  The very next day I had a voicemail from Dr. L’s office when I went to lunch.  It was Diane, one of Dr. L’s nurses.  She said, “Hey girl, I don’t need anything. I just got your records from Tulsa and just wanted to tell you congratulations and we’re all excited to see you Tuesday!”   And that was it.  How cool is that?  I mean, I kid around sometimes, and I like to say that I’m a “special” patient at that office.  And its true, pretty much everyone there knows me because I’ve been so often in the last 2 1/2 years.  But its pretty amazing to hear that they’re all still rooting for me and haven’t forgotten about me since I moved on to the RE.  I might have an unhealthy relationship with my OB’s office…. haha!

Ok, let’s get on with this update!

 

Baby is the size of a prune!  Now, he’s about 1.2 inches long and weighs about .14 ounces.  His body length will almost double in the next three weeks.  At week 10, baby has working arm joints, and his cartilage and bones are forming.  His vital organs are fully developed, and they’re starting to function.  His fingernails and hair are starting to appear too.  Can you believe it?!

How far along?  10 weeks

Total weight gain:  -4lbs.  Again, not trying but the morning sickness is taking its toll!

Maternity clothes? Nope.  But love me some yoga pants!

Stretch marks?  No new ones. Ha!

Sleep:  Can’t get enough of it!  I’ve been a little restless at night this week.  I wake up really hot and have to turn the AC down to frostbite level.

Best moment this week:  Seeing my baby MOVE on the ultrasound!

Miss Anything? Energy.

Movement:  Not for a long while I imagine.

Food cravings:  Peach Crush Soda. I’ve been wanting some ice cream this week, but still haven’t got any.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Anything and everything.  Riding in the car for long periods of time.  If something is moving a lot on the TV screen.  The smell of almost anything cooking.

Gender prediction: No strong feelings one way or the other. As long as its healthy, I’m happy!

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, sore boobs, morning sickness/afternoon sickness/evening sickness….basically ALL DAY SICKNESS, bloat, occasional lightheadedness, and most things smell TERRIBLE.  Constipation vs. Diarrhea…my body can’t make up its mind! Sorry, TMI!

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I have a pretty chunky belly, so I imagine it’ll stay.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  I am happy and queasy!

Looking forward to:  My first OB appointment!

Huge Mistake

Ok.  This post is going to be strange.  And it’s going to demonstrate just how much the grief of my miscarriage caused me to lose my mind.  Seriously.

Today has been a pretty good day.  I cleaned a little house.  Watched a little TV.  I’ve been studying for my 3 hour certification exam I have to take Tuesday morning for work.  I’m feeling a little tired, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Just some major indigestion happening from my bowl of cereal this morning.  All in a all a good day.

For some reason while I was cleaning house today, I decided to look at our ultrasound from our first pregnancy.  I stuck it in a book when everything happened and I’m not sure that I’ve looked at it since.  I’m not sure why I wanted to look at it.  I wasn’t feeling sad or down or having any bad feelings about my current pregnancy.  I actually feel good about it.  Maybe that’s why I felt it was ok to look at it now.  To take another look at the baby that could have been while I’m happily carrying it’s brother or sister.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s a crazy pregnant lady hormone thing.  All I know is without hesitation I opened the book and found the scan.

This is where it gets weird.

All this time, for the past 18 months, I’ve been under the impression that I miscarried at 8 weeks 1 day.  That’s what I told people when it happened.  That’s what I tell people now if it comes up.  That’s what I’ve written in this blog.  The scan that I looked at today was taken just 4 days before I started bleeding.  It was done on a Monday, and the bleeding started on Friday.  After taking a look at the scan today, I noticed that on the day of the scan, the baby actually measured 8w6d.   …….WHAT?!

I mean, seriously, my mind is completely blown.  8w6d.  That means that I was well past the 8w1d mark that I’ve been making myself sick about.  And that means that I actually miscarried at 9w3d.  I don’t even know what to say or think about it.  I am floored.  All this time I never thought that I had made it to 9 weeks before, and in all actuality, I was well into my 10th week.  I don’t know why that makes such a difference to me but I just can’t wrap my mind around it.

So where did the 8w1d assumption come from??  I know I didn’t make it up.  I do remember Dr. L saying those words to me.  And now that I’m not torn apart with grief about it, I can logically recall what the conversation was about.  I was heartbroken, in that dark doctor’s office.  I was crying beyond control.  Dr. L was hugging me and consoling me, and trying to explain the details to me as best he could.  I know he said the words 8 weeks 1 day.  I know he did.  Except now I know that’s not the day I miscarried.  No.  That’s what the baby measured that day on the ultrasound.  He measured 8 weeks 1 day, when four days earlier he had measured 8 weeks 6 days.  This, coupled with the fact that there was no heartbeat, was obvious proof that I was miscarrying.  That I had likely been miscarrying for a day or two now.  It’s crazy, but it makes sense now.

Apparently I was so torn apart by the grief that I clung to those words, 8 weeks 1 day, and that’s what I stuck with.

So what does that have anything to do with now?  Well, pretty much nothing.  It changes nothing.  Except for the fact that my baby fought longer that I thought he did to live, even though my body was betraying him and me.  It means that my big hurdle of 8w1d has now been pushed more than a week out to 9w3d.

The moral of the story?  Don’t underestimate the power of grief.  It can make you lose your mind.

Beta, Part 2

So yesterday I had my second beta done.  Just a reminder that 6 days earlier my first beta was 118.  Yesterday it was 1836! Pretty happy with that number.  Grow, baby, grow!

This whole thing is pretty surreal.  Some days I’m not sure its really happening to me.  It always just seemed like this far off fantasy that I would never attain.  I’m still pretty obnoxiously paranoid.  My Hubby called me “Preggers” today {after buying me a ‘just because you’re pregnant with my baby’ gift (it was Silver Linings Playbook on Blu Ray)} and I nearly choked him, thinking he was going to jinx it or something.  Crazy, I know.  But I’m pretty familiar with Crazytown, anyway.

As far as feeling pregnant, I definitely do.  I’m exhausted. ALL. THE. TIME.  My job tends to wear me out anyway, but this past week I’ve hit the couch as soon as I get home.  I slept the weekend away.  I can’t get enough sleep.  And at night I’m more restless than I’ve ever been.  Normally I sleep like a rock.  Pretty much every single night for the past week I’m up at exactly 2am to use the bathroom.  Every night!

Still having some mild to moderate cramping at times.  It worries me when it happens, even though I know its normal and just my uterus expanding blah blah blah.  So then it worries me when it doesn’t happen for a while.  Go figure.

I haven’t experienced any real nausea.  Yet.  But there are times when I don’t have an appetite at all.  And absolutely NO food whatsoever is appealing.  I do notice I get a little queasy if I go a long time without eating.  Which is hard at those times when my appetite is non-existent.

Lightheadedness is here to stay for now.  It comes and goes throughout the day, and hasn’t been so extreme that I can’t function.  Just makes me feel a little silly at times.

And we can’t forget the swollen and sore boobies!  Yowza!  Poor hubby is so sad because I won’t let him anywhere near them anymore! 😉

We have our first ultrasound with the RE on May 13th.  We should be around-about 6 to 7 weeks along by then.  We’ll be looking to make sure everything is where it should be {baby, sac, etc.} and will be looking to see the heartbeat, though it may be a little too early to hear it.  Until then its just one day at a time.  Today I’m pregnant, tomorrow I hope I still am.