38 Weeks

And still closed for business.

Yep, as of my appointment yesterday, my cervix is still locked up tight.  This kid has no plans of going anywhere anytime soon!

I guess I’m ok with that.  We still technically have 2 more weeks for things to happen.  I was just SO sure he was going to get here much earlier than that.  And we were really hoping he would get here before the 1st of the year.  If he doesn’t, he doesn’t, and that’s ok with me.  Just goes to show, no matter what mom and dad have planned, with kids you just never know what’s going to happen!

Dr. L said we can still induce a couple days early (meaning the last week of December) but ONLY if I’m showing signs of progression…my cervix has got to be thinning and at least a little bit dilated.  He will not induce early if I’m still thick and closed.  Which is good, I guess.  But I do not like the idea of going to 41 weeks, which is the point where he WILL induce if something hasn’t happened yet.  After our checkup yesterday, my husband is convinced that he’s not going to be here until January.  Maybe, maybe not.  One thing is for sure, if something hasn’t happened by then, we WILL have a baby by January 8th (my 41 weeks mark).  A lot can happen between now and then, so we will just continue to wait and see.

Other than not being dilated at all, my checkup went well.  Dr. L is ready for me to come off of the lovenox, which is both scary and such a relief.  He doesn’t see a need at this point for me to continue on any other blood thinner as he will be monitoring me closely from here until the end.  Baby boy seems as healthy as can be.  He has been moving a LOT lately, and was such a wiggle worm while we were trying to hear his heartbeat on the Doppler yesterday!  Dr. L had to chase him around again before we finally heard it.  I didn’t freak out this time because I felt him moving the whole time.  Dr. L loved it, he said that when a baby is moving that much it can only mean that they are healthy and doing great.

My next appointment will be on Monday.  Dr. L is out that day so I’ll be seeing another doctor.  At first he told me he would have me see Dr. Douchebag (remember him?) and I was NOT excited one bit about it.  But, when I was checking out the girls said Dr. Douchebag was going to be out that day as well (oh, darn!) so I’m seeing Dr. R, who is the only woman doctor in the practice.  I’ve never seen her as a patient, but she has been a patient in the clinic that I work at and I’ve spoken with her on the phone and done her exams many times over the last couple years.  She’s a little bit of an airhead (for lack of a better word) but she’s nice and I’m good with seeing her for one visit.

So, that’s that.  We are still just waiting patiently until this boy decides he’s ready to come out! 🙂

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Baby Nugget – 13 Weeks!

Did someone say second trimester?!  Holy crap!  This is a pretty big milestone for me.  I can’t say that I’m completely calm and free of worry, but it feels good to cross over into the so called “safe zone.”  A lot happening this week, but I’m just giving a quick update for now and will try to get on with blogging the good stuff this weekend!

Your baby is the size of a peach!  She’s about 2.9 inches long and weighs about .81 ounces, and – proportion-wise – her head’s now about one-third the size of her body (remember…it used to be about half the size of her body!).  Even though she’s still teeny, she already has fingerprints.  And this week, her vocal cords are forming.

How far along? 13 weeks…Hello, 2nd trimester!!

Total weight gain:  -4lbs.

Maternity clothes? Nope.

Stretch marks?  No new ones. Ha!

Sleep:  Still pretty restless at night.  Up and down a lot to pee.

Best moment this week:  My announcement at work and the reaction I got.  More on that in a later blog 🙂

Miss Anything? Things I’m missing out on, not because I’m pregnant, but because I’m pregnant and because of my HISTORY. More explanation on that later, too.

Movement:  Not for a long while I imagine.

Food cravings: I’m still craving Olive Garden.  All I can think about is cheese ravioli and breadsticks.

Anything making you queasy or sick: A lot of my nausea has subsided.  But I started throwing up randomly last week, and that’s still going on.  Sometimes smells trigger it.

Gender prediction: No strong feelings one way or the other. As long as its healthy, I’m happy!

Labor Signs:  No, thank you.

Symptoms:  Fatigue, sore boobs, vomiting, bloat, and most things smell TERRIBLE. Pretty sure I’ve been having some round ligament pain, as well.

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I have a pretty chunky belly, so I imagine it’ll stay.

Wedding rings on or off?  They fit.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Pretty happy.  And tired.

Looking forward to:  Did have plans this weekend for an out of town concert with some friends, but hubby is worried about baby nugget and I traveling so far away from him and our doctor.  I know I’m not made of glass, but considering my history I just don’t want to take any chances.  Anything could happen at any time, anywhere.  But hubby would feel better and I think I would too if I weren’t 3-4 hours away for 2 days if/when it did.  Maybe we are being too paranoid.  But there will be other concerts. And, I made plans with my gal pal, M, for pedicures and Olive Garden Saturday, and that I am definitely looking forward to 🙂

Next appointment:  July 9th.  Should be almost 15 weeks! Can’t wait!

6w4d

That’s what the ultrasound said on Monday when we went to the RE’s office for our first scan.  I was incredibly nervous and terrified about what we might find at this visit.  Fortunately, all we saw was a beautiful little blob measuring 6w4d with a thump-thump-thumping heartbeat of 120bpm. {Side note: This number worried me a little, I felt it might be a little low. But Dr. P said everything looked good to him, so I’m forcing negative thoughts away and believing in the power of positive thinking…at least I’m trying!}

Here’s one of the first photos of our little nugget:

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Beautiful, isn’t it? 🙂

That puts me at 7 weeks exactly today.  Dr. P wants to see us back next week for another scan to make sure everything is coming along.  So far, the lovenox is doing what it’s supposed to.  Our appointment is on Wednesday, which will put us at 7w6d.  I’m anxious to get through next week.  8w1d is the hurdle I need to get past.  I know I’ll still have a long way to go after that, but it’s like this looming hill that is taking me forever to get to the top of.  It falls on next Friday.  Which is weird, because last time it was also on a Friday.  That dreadful, horrible Friday.  I just need to fast forward.  In the meantime, I’m gonna try not to dwell on the fact that I can’t move time, nor can I change the future, whatever may happen in it.

In other news, morning sickness is now in FULL SWING!  It hit on Sunday and it hit hard.  And it’s all day everyday.  Our two hour car ride to the RE’s office on Monday was HORRIBLE.  Hubby had to pull over a few times.  I’m not throwing up at all, but the nausea stops me dead in my tracks.  Between that and being so extremely exhausted I literally feel like I have the flu.  Dr. P was thrilled to hear that I felt like crap, though! 😉  That’s a good sign, so I am happy to have it, nausea and all.

The morning sickness has made it difficult at work.  Like I’ve said before, I have a pretty physical job.  And our clinic is very busy and fast paced.  And its been hard to keep up the way I’m used to.  My body just can’t go at the rate that I’m used to going.  And its hard to hide from all my coworkers how terrible I’m actually feeling. I’m really not ready to go public yet, but at this rate it may be best for me {and nugget!} to make an announcement soon.  At work at least.  Plus, my supervisor informed me this week that she was going to have to let the doctors and other managers know pretty soon whether I tell everyone else or not.  The more people that find out, the more likely it is to leak.  And I’d rather tell people my own way.  I’m still not touching facebook with a ten foot pole.

As far as family goes, Hubby wanted to tell our parents after our ultrasound appointment Monday.  I’m still skiddish about it.  But he really really wanted to tell someone.  He argued that I got to tell my friend, M, and my boss at work {which I argued didn’t count} and he hadn’t got to tell anyone yet.  I felt bad.  He’s so excited.  And I know he’s scared to, but its too cute how anxious he is to brag about our little secret.  So I gave in and said we could tell our parents.  We still aren’t telling the rest of our families, though.  And so far, we’ve only told his mom and dad.  We’ll probably get around to telling my parents this weekend.

I guess that’s all for now!  I’ll try to be better at updating more, but between the nausea and exhaustion I can’t make any promises 😉

Nightmares and Restless Nights

For the past week I’ve not been able to sleep at night for the life of me.  I don’t get it.  I’m absolutely exhausted when I get home.  I can barely keep my eyes open through dinner.  But then its bedtime and all I can do is toss and turn and toss and turn and get up to pee and toss and turn.

Last night I was up about a half a dozen times.  To go to the bathroom.  To get a drink.  To turn the air conditioner on because I was blazing hot.  Then hubby’s alarm went off and he got up to get ready for work at about 4 am.  I got up, too, because of course I had to use the bathroom.  Hubs was using our bathroom to get ready for work so I snuck into our spare room and used the toilet in the little half bath we have in there.  It’s basically a tiny closet with a toilet and a sink… you can barely close the door without it touching your knees while you’re sitting on the throne.  When I was done I crawled back into bed, sprawled out into the middle of it, stole my hubby’s pillows, and finally fell asleep for an hour and 15 minutes before my alarm went off.

In that short amount of time I had a horrible nightmare.  One that I hope to never ever ever have again.  In it, I got up to use the bathroom in the tiny little half bath, just like I did earlier that morning.  Except this time, when I was done, there was bright red blood everywhere.  I panicked.  I franticly tried to clean myself up, going off the logic that if I could get rid of the blood then nothing had happened, until I finally collapsed into the floor and banged my head against the wall, wondering how in the hell this was happening to me again.

Of course I was still panicked when I woke up.  And had to check a thousand times to make sure it was a dream.  Thankfully it was.  Nothing gone awry.  Yet.

I’m trying to keep positive thinking going, and not dwell on what might or might not happen.  But obviously  my subconscious knows I’m worried.  There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to have a healthy pregnancy.  If the cause of my last miscarriage was in fact the Factor V Leiden and MTHFR mutations, then the Lovenox and baby aspirin should be taking care of it.  The week before I miscarried last time I had this strange feeling.  Almost like I knew it was going to happen.  Maybe your body can sense things like that without you actually knowing it. I don’t know.  But I’ve had nothing but good feelings and good vibes since the beginning of this pregnancy, and even before I knew.  So I’m hoping that means everything is gonna be alright.  At least for now.

Here’s hoping for a dreamless, restful night tonight!